Merry Christmas!

"Here, this one's for Helen."
"Did you get me Edward Cullen in a box?!"

Haha. I love Christmas! I didn't get Edward Cullen in a box, but I did get Twilight and New Moon in hardback so I can't destroy them. Did I mention I love Christmas?

Ben woke me up at about 6:30, pretty good considering the fact that sign I put on my door last night said 7:00. Usually its 5:30ish and then an hour of waiting for my parents to wake up. So he woke me up -a lot nicer than Chip or Josh would have, I might add, they would have jumped on me- and I went to fix my hair and put on some makeup before going upstairs. When I got upstairs I didn't even look at the tree, I went straight for the coffee. Dad laughed and said it was understandable. I was done with the coffee before we were halfway through with the presents. I am so not a morning person.

After presents my brothers went to go set up their new Wii and I got more coffee. I was awake by this point, and really into the whole Christmas thing. Mom told me about how she tracked down my impossible to find lipgloss, and it was hilarious. Apparently she went into Bath and Body Works to find it and some gay guy helped her. (Hmm..I wonder if it was Scottie.) He was wearing pink lipstick and going on and on about how amazing this lipgloss is. He helped Mom find it, actually using the phrase "Oh, honey" in the process. Ha! I love gay guys. For seriously. I want one. Oh, Scottie....

Since then we've just been hanging out. Every year Mom makes cinnamon rolls -the real ones that I was supposed to bring Shaine after Thanksgiving- and this year they are ah-mashing. For seriously, I don't know how she does it, but they are awesome. Oh, did I mention that Mom is the best cook in like the whole world? She really is. If you don't believe me come over for pasta sometime.

We're going to my grandparents' house around one. That'll be really cool, I love it when my whole family gets together. Its really really really really loud with the six little kids (yeah, I'm the oldest of the seven grandchildren) running around, but its fun.

Since I'm going to be adding stuff to this all day I'm going to break it up into sections. So far is section one, 6:30 - 10:57. Peace, loves.

***

Here goes part two.. 12:36 PM.

I just got to my grandparents' house. My Aunt Jen and Uncle Dave are here, along with my grandparents and my great grandmother. My other aunt and younger cousins aren't here yet, so we can't open presents for a while. I've been instructed to hide the computer mouse when she arrives, so this might be the last update until tonight when I get home.

After the last update I got ready to go and sent my Myspace friends pretty 'Merry Christmas' comments. If you didn't get one I obviously don't love you.

ADD sidenote: I absolutely love my grandparents' keyboard. It doesn't make as much noise as mine does. Must remember to get one so Dad will let me stay on the computer later. He always complains that I keep him up banging on the keyboard.

Everyone looks like really good. I mean, I know you're supposed to on holidays, but its a new thing for my brothers. They're all wearing button-down shirts and they look really nice. I think they may have bathed, too, but I won't get my hopes up. I think I look pretty good. I'm wearing a pink sweater that Santa brought me. While I was getting ready I realized that I've worn a pink sweater on Christmas for the last three years. I'll try to find pictures, but I might not post them. I had really bad hair from the time I was eleven to this year. (I finally have it under control now, though, which is kind of laughable if you've seen my hair.)

Ok, so its 12:46 now and I think I'm going to go socialize with my family now. Maybe my uncle will tease me about my big nose again..Ha! I love my crazy family. Peace, loves.

***

Part three: 2:11 PM

Just got done with presents. It was actually pretty pleasant, no drama. Some screaming, but no drama. I sat with Aunt Jen -who I have decided is really awesome- and laughed as Dad and Uncle Dave passed out presents at a painfully slow pace just to annoy Aunt Reetie. Man, my family totally rocks.

ADD sidenote: There may be some typos in here until I get home. My internet has a built in spell checker, which I rely on desperately, and my grandparents' doesn't. Bear with me if I sound completely stupid. lol.

After the last post I went and hung out with the relatives and ate cookies. My grandmother -Nonnie- made about thirty thousand cookies, and I plan to eat at least twelve thousand before the day is out. I talked with Aunt Jen about all the cool stuff she does. (I really don't know her that well because she and Uncle Dave only got married two years ago and I've only seen them a handful of times since then.)

Turns out that the place where she works caters for What Not To Wear when they're in New York. How cool is that? She said that Stacy and Clinton are really low maintenance when it comes to their food, and she assumes that they're pretty laid back in real life. Clinton, maybe, but I for seriously doubt that Stacy is. I mean, have you seen her show? She's like a total betch! (A really really awesome betch, but a betch all the same.) I tried to explain this without using the word 'betch' or any variation, so I don't think I actually made my point, but whatev. They also cater the Baby Phat fashion shows. All I know about Baby Phat is that Kimora Lee Simmons was a guest judge on America's Next Top Model a few times, but that's still pretty cool. Not as cool as What Not To wear, but still pretty cool.

A little after that Aunt Reetie showed up and we started opening presents. Dad and Uncle Dave played Santa this year, and it was really funny. I think its so cool how over time brothers-in-law can become brothers, because you -or at least I- can totally tell how well they get along. They were absolutely hilarious, and with my Aunt Reetie here it will be insanely hilarious. I love it when my family is all together. For seriously, if you saw us all together for just ten minutes you would know where I get it. ('It' being my outstanding sense of humor, big nose, and bigger ego.)

Like I said before, we just got done with presents and now I am like starving to death. Its 2:24 and we're eating in an hour, but I don't know if I can make it that long. I think I'm going to get some cookies and get verbally abused by my 'loving' relatives. =p Peace, loves.

***

3:05 PM

Gahhh. They're cooking very slowly and it is NOT fun. So question: Is anyone reading this as I post like a crazy person? Haha. If you are leave a comment so I know.

In the like forty minutes since I left you I have done basically nothing. I ate some cookies and listened to Mom, Uncle Dave, and Aunt Reetie talk about the time Mom tried to crucify Uncle Dave. No, I'm not kidding. When they were kids Mom tried to nail him to a tree, and he has a scar on his foot from it. This was after Mom left him out in the snow when he was a baby. I don't think Mom much liked the idea of younger siblings. (Ha! I took it a lot better than she did, I just complain a lot. JK. I love my little brothers more than anything, even if they are annoying.) Its pretty funny because when Uncle Dave got bigger he got revenge. Once he put her on top of the refrigerator and wouldn't let her down for hours, and once he hung her by her belt loop on the security lock thing in a hotel. I'm thinking that my parents should be thankful that I only yell at my brothers..I could hang them by their toes off the back porch. Hmm...That's an idea. Maybe Uncle Dave will help.

So are y'all having good Christmas? I definitely am, and will continue right about...Now. Its 3:12 I'm going to go -er- patiently wait for the food to be ready. Peace, loves.

PS- Its technically a white Christmas. Its raining and sleeting and snowing a little. Ha! That's Tennessee for you. We like never get snow. For seriously! I've been out of school for more rain days than snow days. Ridiculous.

***

4:09 PM

OMG, I'm like totally stuffed. I think we may have a problem, how the hell am I going to eat pie?! Haha. I just laughed out loud at all the morons who think I'm anorexic.

So dinner was awesome. Like for seriously, my family is made up of amazing cooks. The conversation was better, though. My family temporarily moved the spotlight from me -because obviously its always on me- to my brother Chip and his inablity to stop laughing. Its really amusing. If you tell him something funny he just can't stop. And if you tell him something not so funny he can't stop. It reminds me of Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Not the crappy movie, but the book. "Must...Not...Look..Like a....Baboon's backside!!!" (It was close to that, at least. If you've read the book you get it.) So Uncle Dave and Aunt Reetie picked on him for a while, and then the spotlight came back to me and we talked about how charming I was when I was little.

See, Aunt Jen asked how Chip (whose real name is Phillip) got his nickname, and I explained that when he was born I was obsessed with Beauty and the Beast. Phillip became Chip the cup, Mom was Mrs. Potts, Dad was the beast, and I was Belle. So apparently one time when I was like three I was over here with Nonnie and Aunt Reetie and a friend of Aunt Reetie's came to pick her up. I answered the door and I said, "I'm Belle the girl in the castle, who the hell are you?" Ha! I was such a cool little kid, Aunt Reetie's friend even said so.

So now with that charming little anecdote finished, I'm going to have some coffee and pie. Its like 4:19, so I say its time for pie. Talk to you soon. Peace, loves.

***

6:29 PM

Just got home. Did you miss me? The pie was amazing, I'm never eating again. Or until tomorrow morning, whichever comes first. After dessert I listened to my aunts and uncle talk in depth about hair products (not joking) and then sat in the living room with everyone and we just hung out. My younger cousins and my youngest brother kept jumping all over Uncle Dave and it was pretty funny. One of my cousins obviously just got new feet, because he was falling all night long. Not even kidding. It was hilarious.

So all in all it was an amazing Christmas. If I hadn't mentioned it before, I love having all of my family here. We're all -all being the fifteen of us- going to have a family portrait taken tomorrow. That will be interesting. I wonder who's going to end up in a headlock this time. =p

Well, I think that's about it. I hope everyone had a great day and got to spend some quality time with their families. Its 6:38 and Dad's kicking me off here in about five minutes, and I have to talk to some people on Myspace, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen