Monday, January 28, 2008


I am not at school. I am not at the library in the coolest section of computers, third computer from the end of the row. I am on a beach, all alone with the exception of my supersexy vampire boyfriend, Emmett. Its not 54 degrees outside, but a cozy 82, and I am sipping on a skinny mocha frappachino from the Starbucks that is conveniently located about twenty yards away. The only sounds I can hear are Emmett trying to surf and the waves crashing lazily onto the shore....

Ok, I'm awake now. The sad truth is that I am at school, in the library, in the 'coolest' section of computers, at the third computer from the end of the row. I am not alone in the sense that there are people around me, but I am alone in the sense that I have no supersexy vampire boyfriend. Heck, I don't even have a mildly attractive human boyfriend. There is no frappachino, no waves rolling lazily onto the shore. I am not Rosalie Hale, I am Helen Rose, and my life is truly uninteresting.

Well maybe that last part isn't true. My life isn't uninteresting, there are things going on, but nothing that are making me uncontrollably happy. Things are going well, I suppose, but nothing is really happening. I'm content, but not giddy. I'm in some kind of purgatory, I think. I am not morbidly depressed, or even upset -usually- therefore I can't write anything of consequence aside from the occasional blog. Long story short, I'm bored.

I think I need to rectify that. I hate being bored, and I hate doing nothing when I could be doing something so much more productive. I need a social life. So consider this my cry for help:

Someone come and kidnap me! (As long as you're not like a serial killer or whatever, that would be bad.) But seriously, come kidnap me and we'll go to the beach. (Or Starbucks, or Italy, I'm really good with either alternative.) Just save me from the monotony of Floral Design and nothing in particular. I neeeeed a change!!!

Hahahaha. That probably sounded like really pathetic. Probably better suited for my emo blog, but I haven't updated this one in a while, and the whole beach fantasy wasn't really emo, now was it?

Its Monday. That's probably why I'm in such a funk. Not to mention my total lack of sleep -maybe I actually am a vampire- and the seventy billion milligrams of caffeine I've had today. Oh, and Justin totally added insult to injury last night when he practically begged me to be his best friend -his term, not mine- and I had to convince him that I want nothing to do with him. I mean, I have enough friends -even though I don't see most of them as much as I'd like.

Ooh, and before I can get my phone back -not even my phone, Rufus is dead as a doornail Dumbledore- I have to get straight A's and write my parents a three page paper explaining why I should get it back. The straight A's thing is going to be hard, considering the fact that as of now I have failed to turn in two assignments for Honors English, and am missing one of the two assignments I've been given for Floral Design, so I have like a 48%. I need to get that checked out today..Maybe I'll get lucky and get it excused.

I think I'm running on empty, that's what they call it, right? I need a break. I need a change. I need to figure out what's wrong, even though nothing really feels like its wrong, I'm just....discontent. I that's the right word.

So what I'm really trying to say is that I am going to take a break. I'm not going to blog on here a lot, because I'm running out of really cheerful, bubbly, unimportant topics to discuss. So I'll talk to you later. Peace, loves.



Rhiannon said...

i know how you feel.
we should totally run away to the beach.
or up in the mountains
that's my dream place:
"up in some mountain cabin with carlisle where the only people for miles are the people at the conviently placed starbucks just down the trail. and all around is forest but the cabin is in a clearing so i can see carlisle shimmer in the sun."

lol. i'm such a hopeless dork. and i can't stop laughing at the mental picture of emmett trying to surf.

Kayla/Bella said...

haha now that i read rhiannon's comment about Emmett surfing thats so totally true. Emmett-surf? ha. dude theres not thunder, scratch that, baseball going on yet. that sucks

Bells said...


god i know i just totally posted a comment not five secs ago but Bella has a lot to tell Rosalie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll be shure to email u when its safe too

Bells said...

OKay Emo Kid I've come to cheer you up.
and everyone sing on three

dear diary,
mood: apathetic
my life is spiraling downward. i couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry Concert. It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You,' and 'Rip Apart My Soul,' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab." and it doesn't help that i couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either, like that guy from that band could do, some days you know. . .

i'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be
you'd be non-conforming to if u look just like me
i have paint on my nails and make-up on my face
i'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs
'cause i feel real deep when i'm dressing in drag
i call it freedom of expression most just call me a f*g
'cause their dudes look like chicks, their chicks look like d*kes
'cause emo is one step below transvestite

stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo

i'm dark and sensitive with low self-esteem
the way i dress makes everyday feel like Hallowe'en
i have no real problems but i like to make believe
i stole my sister's mascara now i'm grounded for a week
sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
i can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
girls keep breaking up with me, it' never any fun
they say they already have a p*ssy, they don't need another one

stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo
dye in my hair and polish on my toes
i must be emo
i play guitar and write suicide notes
i must be emo

my life is just a black abyss, you know, it's so dark. and it's suffocating me. grabbing ahold of me and tightening it's grip, tighter than a pair of my little sister's jeans . . . which look great on my by the way

when i get depressed i cut my wrists in every direction
hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
i write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses
i told my friends i bleed black and cry during classes
i'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
you can read me "Catcher in the Rye," and watch me jack off
i wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
if i said i like girls i'd only be half right

i look like i'm dead and dress like a homo
i must be emo
screw XBOX i play old school Nintendo
i must be emo
i like to whine and hate my parentals
i must be emo
me and my friends all look like clones
i must be emo

my parents just don't get me you know. they think i'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy. well, a couple of guys. but i mean, it's the 2000s. can't 2, or 4 dudes make-out with each other without being gay. i mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways. i don't know diary, sometimes i think you're the only one that gets me, you're my best friend. . . . i feel like tacos

Bells said...

haha now that i think of it probably not the BEST song for someoen whos being all depressed and shiz but its funny as hell

DAD said...

My dear Helen,

Its five (5) pages not three (3).

Love ya,

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