Ramblings

"You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love

You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You should be the one I'll always love..."
-Muse, 'Unintended'

So here I am, sitting at my computer listening to Muse and eating Hershey's kisses and I'm thinking: "Dude, my life kicks ass". And you know what, it really does.

School lately has been crazy at best, but I've finally fallen into a rhythm with everything. I'm over the whole first few weeks being all nervous and stuff and now I'm just having fun.

In English, Kayla and I have made a habit of going in early to bug Coach Rice -who, BTW, has received the nickname 'Caius', as in 'Caius' from the Volturri. We talk nonstop about Twilight and our insanity, and sometimes Caius takes it upon himself to remind us that we're insane. We don't really care, though. We know what we are, and to be frank, we're damn proud of it. The guy that sits between Kayla and I -we're separated by one row of desks- totally hates us, as well as most of the others that have been subjected to our endless conversations about how much we dislike the concept of Edward flying over the treetops of Forks, but oh well. These are supposed to be -key words 'supposed to'- the best years of our lives. And while we know that is a fabrication if there ever was a fabrication, we're still trying to make the best of our 'preamble', so to speak.

'Rosalie', 'Emo Virgin', 'Barbie', 'Sis', and 'Lena' are the nicknames I have grown accustomed to, but the guys -one jerk off in particular- in Graphic Communications have added another one to the list 'Useless Freshman'. I'm the only freshman in that class, so that one jerk off -his name is Cody, but I prefer jerk off- makes it a point to remind me of that. Its all in good fun, though. I kind of think that he actually finds me really amusing, but he doesn't want to be caught being nice to a freshman. It might ruin his street cred or something. Ha. But other than that, I adore that class. My teacher is, well, insane, but a really good kind of insane that keeps us from doing any actual work. Instead we usually talk about people getting their hands cut off or being run over or something. The guys in there are pretty cool, and definitely a goldmine for blogables. Today they were having this huge, like, pissing contest over who could do the most multitasking while driving. The whole time I was thinking, "Well, its better than Scott and Eric cheering on Beth for being a skankmuffin." [Which they've done, BTW.]

My other classes are basically useless. In Contemporary Issues we just listen to the teacher scream. Well, not scream exactly, but she gets really loud when she's trying to exaggerate a point. Emily and I think she's on crack. I think she got it from Half-Baked, and I think that Half-Baked got it from Coach Creepy. See, endless circle. Like the circle of life, if you will, except with stoned teachers.

Floral design is BS to the highest degree. That's all there is to it. All I do is sit in there, read, talk to Ashley about Twilight, and occasionally talk about flowers. That class drags on forever, though. Its ridiculous. 'Nuff said.

Everything else is boring. I never do anything. I sit online and read fan fictions, sometimes talk to people, and wait for something amazing to happen to me. Not that sitting around and doing nothing is completely bad. Time spent in reflection can lead one to make some discoveries about oneself and help one improve one's person. Haha. That sounded like a fortune cookie or something. I've realized that I actually am normal, I just don't want to be. And I've also realized that its not nearly as bad as I think it is to just be myself. I've tried really hard recently to say what I think and not edit myself for anyone. I'm actually doing better. I know that there are some things, some relationships, specifically, that I've already messed up by being scared, but I'm completely determined to not let it happen again. I'll consider this my belated New Year's Resolution.

I suppose I'm obligated as the most faithful amazing blogger on the planet to inform you that I have developed a new crush. [Its almost ironic to say that, because when the word has previously applied, I never even thought about it as such.] He's adorable, naturally. And funny, and nice. His smile makes me want to smile. Its a possibly, its a maybe, its a hopefully. All I know is I'm not going to mess up this time if I can help it.

Mmkay, I just realized that this whole post is just one long vague rambling, so I'll leave you with just one more thing: I want everyone who reads this to leave me a comment on this post. Its really easy, promise. Just click the '__ Comments' link under the end of the post then go write something. Its set up to allow anonymous comments, so get to it! Peace, loves.

xo
Helen