Rant

I seriously don't understand people. I had a perfectly lovely day that was, admittedly, completely boring and a the tiniest bit irritating, but I wasn't in a bad mood. And then I don't want to cling to Zach for dear life and he starts asking me if I had a bad day, if I'm tired, if he did something wrong. No, you idiot. I just don't worship you like that moron Emily did. Then I fall asleep on the bus because I'm absolutely exhausted because I've barely slept all week. And I get home and I don't want to shove even more saturated fat and empty calories down my throat and my brothers get all obnoxious and annoying. Then Mom gets all pissed off because I said I need my social security card to take my permit test and apparently I said it in an unacceptable tone. That always happens. I say something and she takes it as disrespect, and then she repeats what I said in a really mad, mocking voice and it makes me SO mad, because I've never sounded like that in my life. If I sounded like that, I'd shoot myself.

I hate that my parents always let my brothers get away with everything and I can't get away with anything. They say its because they expect more from me, but that makes me wonder if they don't expect the same things from my brothers because they know they're incompetent losers. Its all so unfair. And I know, life isn't fair, blahblahblah, but still, this is insane.

Laura, I am mad at you. You are a very shallow person and you're getting on my nerves. I wish you were a strong enough person to just ask me if I was mad at you yourself instead of going through everyone else we know. I mean, you texted my mom, and I wasn't even mad at you at that point. Well now I am. You think you deserve 'happiness' because your life has been so 'hard'. Well get over it. You don't even know hardship. I know that your mother is not a good parent to you, but you're not a good daughter to her, either. You are rude and disrespectful to her and you would get a lot further if you just shut your mouth and started giving her reasons to trust you. Stop thinking so highly of yourself, because you are not nearly as cool as you think you are. Don't say stuck up and snobby things like "I do not get rejected" because you are not some supreme being that is above all others on earth. You are just like everyone else. You are going to get rejected, you are going to get hurt, and its going to suck. You can either whine and cry about it like you've been doing recently, or you can suck it up and make it better. Don't look to other people to tell you how to make everything better and don't say that you can't. You can, you just need to get over yourself first. And you are not "The kind of person that doesn't get old" because that kind of person does not exist. You are not going to get hit by a bus when you're twenty-three. You are just shallow and vain and unwilling to accept the fact that one day you won't be young and beautiful like you are now. I've got news for you: it happens to everyone. Get over it and stop saying stupid things like that. You make yourself sound absolutely ridiculous.

I'm not saying this to upset you. I'm saying it in hopes of you getting it through your thick skull that you need to grow up and get over yourself.

Ok. I feel better now. I might blog again later. I might not. And I might delete this post in a few hours out of guilt. I don't know. Later.

-Helen