OMC vs. OME

Heyy everyone. To my regular readers, this is yet another nerdy Twilight thing. Just stand by and revel in the fact that, even though you actually waste your time reading the nerdiest blog on the planet, you are not certifiably Twilight-insane.

Everyone else, here's the place to let your voice be heard in the 'Oh My Edward [OME]' vs. 'Oh My Carlisle [OMC]' debate-type thingy that I'm trying to get started. Head to the polls at the bottom of this post, and post comments to let your voice be heard. If this actually takes off, I'll make a new blog totally dedicated to it, but for now, lets stick to this one.

Peace, loves!

xo
Helen

Attack of the EMOEDWARD!!!!!

I feel very productive right now. EmoEdward has five chapters up, which doesn't really sound like a lot, but considering the fact that I have to get into a really horrible mood and be pissy for like two days to write one chapter, its a lot. Haha. I'm like the weirdest writer ever. I really want to be a writer, like do it for a living when I get older, but I'm not nearly committed enough and I'm not really confident that my writing is good enough. I love doing fan fiction, though. The only problem is that those stories are never truly mine, I'm always sharing the spotlight with the author of the book I'm writing about or the creator of the show I'm writing about. My stories are pretty good -or at least they're starting to be- but ultimately, they're pretty much useless. Blarg.

So you be the judge go read my EMO Edward story and tell me what you think.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3989464/1/The_End

Here's some background information. (Mostly for Kansas's sake, because Kayla and Rhiannon have heard me talk about this for months and I doubt Shawn or Dad will actually read Twilight just to read my fan fiction, and no one else reads my blog.) The story begins at the breakup scene in New Moon, and it is completely Edward's point of view. The story will progress through the entirety of New Moon, telling Edward's part of the story.

Ok..That's it for now. Mom's kicking me off. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

What About Now?

Ookay..I've put this off long enough. Here we go...

School got out last Wednesday. w00tness!!! So Wednesday I had my Contemporary Issues and Floral Design finals. I got a 91% on both, which means I got a B in both of those classes, but whatever. At least I didn't fail. I got a 96% on my Honors English final and I didn't have to take my Graphic Communications final, and I got an A in both of those. Right after school, Mom picked up Rhiannon and me and we hit Sonic 'cause we're cool fat kids. Then we went to pick up Josh, dropped off him and Chip, then went to the DMV so I could take my permit test. The test was super easy and I got a 100% on it. That part was awesome. The next part is NOT awesome. So they tell me to sit down so they'll take my picture, and I'm so determined to keep my eyes open and not look like a total dorkmuffin that I forget to smile, and my picture turns out really terrible. I'm not even kidding, I look like I'm 200 pounds. It was karma for lying about my weight on the application, I'm sure of it. Blarggg.

After that we came back to my house and hung out. I was in a really pissy mood because of the icky picture that I'm going to be stuck with until next year, and like everyone got pissed off at me. I fell asleep on the couch for like an hour and then I got up and we went to Gatti's for pizza. I was really pissed off and completely intent on pissing other people off, so while we were standing in line to get pizza I kept flicking the little plastic thingy on my glass over and over until some bread eater behind me asked me to stop. When we got through the line and sat down, Rhiannon told me that she wanted to tell the guy that I was OCD and I had to do the flicky thingy or I would have a mental breakdown, but she didn't think my parents would have appreciated it very much. I found it hilarious and we made a plan to piss off the break eater if we saw him again. We didn't. Bummer.

After pizza we went back home and got ready to to to Indiana Jones. Rhiannon dressed up as Elsa -AKA slutty blond Nazi chick that did Indy and his dad- and I really really didn't want to be Marion or Willie, so I dressed up as the student that had a thing for Indy and wrote 'Love You' on her eyelids. I wore a plaid mini skirt and a t-shirt and I looked like a total slut...I'll be throwing that skirt out, along with the infamous 'COVER YOURSELF' one. Haha. Around 8 we went over to Logan's place and watched Temple of Doom until it was time to go. We got to the theater at 11:30 and there were like NO seats left, so we had to sit really close to the screen. It was awesome, though. We screamed and cheered and had a great time. I fell asleep for like five minutes near the end, but I don't think I missed anything huge. I know that's really terrible, but it was like 2:30 in the morning, I'm sure I wasn't the only one to doze off.

I've just been chillin' since then. Friday Mom and I went to Turkey Creek. I got my summer reading books, plus Dracula and Interview With the Vampire. I have no idea how I'm ever going to finish all of them, because I still haven't gotten through The Host and come August second, Breaking Dawn will be my top priority. Though I'll probably finish that one after a full day of nonstop reading. And I still have to reread the first three Twilight books before I read How to Read Literature Like an English Professor, just in case the latter completely ruins every book I've ever loved by making me analyze it to death.

After Border's we went bathing suit shopping. That was...Frustrating, to say the least. I basically look like a blob right now, and it isn't fun. But we got Wii Fit a few days ago, so hopefully I'll start looking less like a blob and more like an actual person pretty soon. I swear, the Wii is trying to kill me. My muscles hurt in places I didn't even know I had muscles..

On Saturday my grandparents took all of my brothers to the lake house, so it was just me, Mom, and Dad. That was pretty cool. We went to get a grill and then went back to Turkey Creek to get dinner and find a 'grandparent appropriate' bathing suit, because I decided I actually wanted to go to the lake and the one I got on Friday apparently isn't appropriate to be worn around my grandparents. Um...Ok then. Haha. But we found one and it was cool. Then we celebrated with Starbucks and I got myself a supercute Beatles bag that I am currently in love with. Haha.

After we got home Dad took me up to the Grace Baptist parking lot to teach me to drive. It was hard. I hit three theoretical cars and I have issues with staying in my lane. Haha. It was cool, though. We might go again tonight.

Yesterday was pretty neat. Mom woke me up super early -11:30- and told me we were leaving in 45 minutes. Blargness. I hate when she does that. I need like an hour and a half to get ready and be sure I have everything. Whatever, though. We got moving right on schedule and headed to the lake.

So here's the thing..The lake house is where we lived while we were building our house in Karns. AKA, the lake house is where we lived while we were in Hillbilly Hell, the place that basically ruined my life. Just going there made me really angry. I was seriously paranoid that we were going to run into someone I used to know. I already decided that if we did, I would act like they had made a mistake and my name was Rosalie Lang. (Rosalie from Twilight, Lang from The Gun Seller.) We didn't run into anyone, though, so that was a relief.

When we got to the lake house we like immediately went down to the dock so the kids could swim and I could tan. I didn't tan. I burned. Haha. But only my back, because I was on my stomach like the whole time because its super hard to read when you're laying on your back. Haha. Superdork alert. =p So now my back hurts in addition to my core muscles that I didn't know I had hurting. Not cool, man.

After we got home I read The Host for a while then came upstairs around 10 and stayed online until 1 working on EMOEDWARD and talking to Laura and Rhiannon. Then Dad kicked me off and made me go to bed. Blargnessss.

Okk...That's my blog. Haha. Hope you liked it. I'll try to start updating daily again, but no promises. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

PS- I took a supercool picture with Logan's Indiana Jones hat:

Shawn & Kansas

Shawn - Bite me. I updated like last week..Right before the super freaky finals review and stuff set in at school.

Kansas - I'm over the freaking moon that you are hooked on Twilight. That made my whole day. Haha. You can find the personality test here. I'm going to get back to posting probably this afternoon. There's been a ton of stuff going on, but I'm still recovering from school. Haha. Here's a preview:

-School's out!!
-I got my permit!!
-Indiana Jones at midnight
-New Twilight fan fictions
-Updated The End

Mk...That's about it. I promise there will be an update soon.

xo
Helen

Guess Who's Messed Up??

Me Me Me Me Me Me!!!!!

xo
Helen

Extraversion |||||||||||| 50%
Stability |||| 18%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||| 66%
Accommodation |||||||||||| 50%
Interdependence |||||||||| 36%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 58%
Mystical |||||| 30%
Artistic || 10%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||| 16%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Narcissism |||||||||| 36%
Adventurousness || 10%
Work ethic |||||||||| 36%
Humanitarian |||||||||||| 50%
Conflict seeking || 10%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70%
Wealth |||||||||||| 50%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 70%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||| 43%
Sexuality |||||| 23%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50%
Family drive |||||||||||||||| 70%
Physical Activity |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Paranoia |||||||||||||| 56%
Vanity |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Honor |||||||||| 36%
Thriftiness |||||||||||||||| 63%

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.

Trait Snapshot:
neat freak, organized, worrying, phobic, fears the unknown, irritable, pessimistic, emotionally sensitive, fears chaos, risk averse, fragile, unadventurous, depressed, frequently second guesses self, likes to fit in, does not like to stand out, perfectionist, hard working, does not like to be alone, clingy, dependent, practical, ordinary, cautious, takes precautions, good at saving money, suspicious, heart over mind, busy, altruistic

Gee..Who knew? =p

Just Me and You

"..Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon
Just me and you..."
Tokio Hotel - 'Monsoon'

I can't wait until some genuis figures out how to implant mp3 players into our brains so I will never again be unable to write for lack of writing music. 'Cause right now, I'm in a wonderfully emo mood, but I can't write because I'm at my grandparents' house, and, even though I took the extra measure to email myself the stories I'm currently working on, I can't write because I forgot my emo music. Blarg. Lameness.

I totally love my family, but holiday get togethers like today really make me want to rip my hair out. There are too many little kids screaming and too many adults looking at me like I'm crazy. Blargggggggggggggggg.

So apparently, according to Ben Smith, who apparently thinks he is the great know-it-all of the music world, German music is nothing compared to Icelandic, and Tokio Hotel is the N'Sync of the overseas music indusdry. Interesting. I'm going to have to look into that. I guess Ben didn't know that I have been a fan of N'Sync since I was seven..

Only eleven more days of school. Well, actually only ten because the twentieth and twenty-first are half days for finals, and I probably don't have to go on the twenty second. Yesssss!

Ok, I don't have anything else to talk about. Sorry for the lame blog. Maybe I'll post again tomorrow morning. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

American Idiot

I love foreign music. British music is pretty much a given with The Beatles and Muse. Not to mention other foreign bands like The Veronicas. But I had no idea how cool German music was. Like last week Emily (diva Emily, not stupid Emily) and I were in Contemporary Issues and she's all "You absolutely have to check out this band, Tokio Hotel!" So I did. First I listened to the stuff in English on their myspace, which was pretty good, but its nothing compared to their German stuff. Haha. I sound so completely dorkmuffinish right now, but whatever. Its my blog, I get to be a dorkmuffin.

I'm really starting to hate American music. Granted, there are some really great bands out there, such as Paramore and older 60's-80's bands, but for the most part, popular music in the US is just vulgar and stupid. I think American musicians should try to be more like foreign bands. Actually, I think that America in general should look to more established nations for inspiration. America is supposed to be this huge melting pot of nationalities and cultures, so why can't we take the good things from other countries' governments or whatever and make ours even better? Maybe we should rearrange our government a little bit and take a while to stop and think about why the rest of the world hates us. I think it might be because the rest of the world sees us as the country that thinks its the coolest thing ever, but its really not. Like a stupid freshman, so to speak. Which I guess makes sense, because the country is very young compared to others. I don't know. I just think if everyone just stopped acting like a stupid freshman, everything would be a lot easier for everyone.

Every time I try to talk to my parents about ideas like that, I get the same response. My mother gives me a look that clearly says "How dare you? This is the greatest country in the world and you are so lucky to live here. I can't even speak to you because I'm so deeply offended." And my dad lectures me about how our country is in so much debt because we spend so much money with foreign aid. Well that's all swell, but what if one day a country to whom we owe a truckload of money decides that they're tired of waiting and they're going to attack us or something?

And what about problems like the housing crisis? Stuff like that wouldn't be happening so much if limitations were put on credit card companies and banks that made people meet certain criteria to get loans and stuff. But no. Its a free country, so we're not going to restrict anyone. We're going to let people be free to destroy their lives, even if it hurts the country as well. Maybe we need more restrictions. I'm not suggesting becoming a communist nation or anything, but everyone needs some kind of restrictions. You now that in China you can be arrested for bringing disgrace to the country? This very blog could get me arrested in China. People here don't know that kind of respect. There is certainly patriotism and pride, but there isn't necessarily respect. People don't respect themselves, they choose to be promiscuous and ignorant and inappropriate, and they don't even realize that they are a representation of America.

I just don't understand some things like that. Maybe I'm not meant do understand it. Maybe no one does. But maybe someone does. Maybe someone knows how to fix everything that's wrong with this country, but they are being silenced because because their realizations might get in the way of profit. This country really needs to get its priorities in order, or we will be eaten by Canada or something.

Ok. That's my two cents. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

PS- Daddy, this whole political-ish rant is my retaliation for turning my birthday into a political debate with Grandpa. Not cool, man. Next year, one of you isn't invited. Mk?

Rant

I seriously don't understand people. I had a perfectly lovely day that was, admittedly, completely boring and a the tiniest bit irritating, but I wasn't in a bad mood. And then I don't want to cling to Zach for dear life and he starts asking me if I had a bad day, if I'm tired, if he did something wrong. No, you idiot. I just don't worship you like that moron Emily did. Then I fall asleep on the bus because I'm absolutely exhausted because I've barely slept all week. And I get home and I don't want to shove even more saturated fat and empty calories down my throat and my brothers get all obnoxious and annoying. Then Mom gets all pissed off because I said I need my social security card to take my permit test and apparently I said it in an unacceptable tone. That always happens. I say something and she takes it as disrespect, and then she repeats what I said in a really mad, mocking voice and it makes me SO mad, because I've never sounded like that in my life. If I sounded like that, I'd shoot myself.

I hate that my parents always let my brothers get away with everything and I can't get away with anything. They say its because they expect more from me, but that makes me wonder if they don't expect the same things from my brothers because they know they're incompetent losers. Its all so unfair. And I know, life isn't fair, blahblahblah, but still, this is insane.

Laura, I am mad at you. You are a very shallow person and you're getting on my nerves. I wish you were a strong enough person to just ask me if I was mad at you yourself instead of going through everyone else we know. I mean, you texted my mom, and I wasn't even mad at you at that point. Well now I am. You think you deserve 'happiness' because your life has been so 'hard'. Well get over it. You don't even know hardship. I know that your mother is not a good parent to you, but you're not a good daughter to her, either. You are rude and disrespectful to her and you would get a lot further if you just shut your mouth and started giving her reasons to trust you. Stop thinking so highly of yourself, because you are not nearly as cool as you think you are. Don't say stuck up and snobby things like "I do not get rejected" because you are not some supreme being that is above all others on earth. You are just like everyone else. You are going to get rejected, you are going to get hurt, and its going to suck. You can either whine and cry about it like you've been doing recently, or you can suck it up and make it better. Don't look to other people to tell you how to make everything better and don't say that you can't. You can, you just need to get over yourself first. And you are not "The kind of person that doesn't get old" because that kind of person does not exist. You are not going to get hit by a bus when you're twenty-three. You are just shallow and vain and unwilling to accept the fact that one day you won't be young and beautiful like you are now. I've got news for you: it happens to everyone. Get over it and stop saying stupid things like that. You make yourself sound absolutely ridiculous.

I'm not saying this to upset you. I'm saying it in hopes of you getting it through your thick skull that you need to grow up and get over yourself.

Ok. I feel better now. I might blog again later. I might not. And I might delete this post in a few hours out of guilt. I don't know. Later.

-Helen

Unintended

"And when it rains,
On this side of town it touches, everything.
Just say it again and mean it.
We don't miss a thing.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole
And convinced yourself that
It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, I need the ending.
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?"
-Paramore, "When It Rains"

Its very Forks-y here today. Rhiannon said it looked like there was going to be a tornado. I told her she was freaking me out.

I think the reason I stopped blogging for a long time a few months ago was because I realized something. I realized that I had an obsession with preserving memories in film and text instead of relying merely on my own memory. Last semester I spent a lot of important moments trying really hard to remember everything, and I forgot to enjoy the moment. I'm glad I realized that last semester, though, because last semester sucked. I spent the whole time crushing on a guy that I might have had a chance with if I hadn't been so scared. I made a fool of myself too many times to count. I made some stupid mistakes. Its cool, though. I've put it all behind me and I'm focusing on now. I think that's why I don't post insanely detailed and long blogs like I did before. Some things I want to keep to myself. And, of course, there are some that I'd like to forget.

This semester is going well, though. I have an awesome boyfriend that makes me smile like this. (<-- RAWR! A baby kitty!) And I've finally gotten my hair to behave and I've gotten the hang of everything. It always seems that I get into a perfect rhythm and stuff near the end of an experience. Oh well. I guess I can only try to make next year better.

Country music is the epitome of depression. For seriously. When I hear country music, even if its something very pop-ish and upbeat like Taylor Swift, I get depressed. Probably because of my hillbilly hell experiences. Cyndi Lauper, however, is the epitome of hyperness. And 'She Bob' is just the song to get me absofantabulouslutley insanely hyper. Haha. I am Jack's ADHD medication..

Today was supahcool. We're watching a ghettofied version of Romeo and Juliet in English (the one with Leonardo DiCaprio) and Capulet said "Give me my long sword, ho!" Just like in the play. That's what's so weird about the movie, its all ghettoness, but it has all of the original words. We're absolutely loving it. I'm going to miss that class sooo much! We have to do a research paper next week. My topic is vampires and Kayla was going to do Volterra, but then I suggested the Beatles, so she's doing that instead. Dude, when I got to school this morning I was kind of emofied and all ready to write like six chapters in my EMOEDWARD story, but then Kayla came up to me and was all hyper because her mom took her to Sonic and she got a java chiller thing. Kayla and coffee do not mix well. She really needs to start drinking it every day so she gets used to it and not so crazy. Long story short, she made me all hyper and I couldn't write anything. My EMOEDWARD readers probably want to jump on her head now. Good going, you stupid human. =p

My brother just got mud on the carpet. Apparently he has a death wish.

Evanescence is like the most depressing band ever, and I have no idea why I don't use them for writing music. Probably because they're so depressing that I'd go slit my wrists after I was done writing. Lets avoid that, shall we? Blood on top of my terrible handwriting would make it impossible for Esme to beta for me.

We did yearbook signing during fourth period today. It was awesome, but it was super hot in the gym and in the commons, so it was nice to finally get outside at 3:30. The yearbook was pretty much totally lame. I was only in it one time, and I don't even look like me because I straightened my hair for the picture. Whatever. Next year I'm going to play rugby (no, that wasn't a typo, I'm seriously going to do a sport) and join a bunch of clubs so I have stuff to do. Who knows, maybe I'll even start my own club. Like Supernerds Anonymous or something. We can have Twilight Tuesdays! Ahh. I totally want to do this now. Screw Hardin Valley, Karns is going to be the place to be next year. Haha.

Random picture time! Enjoy:
Random Picture #1
Yeah..I vandalized the bus. But I did it in the name of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. It was worth it.
Random Picture #2
New Years was sooo much fun. Do you believe that there was no alcohol involved?
Random Picture #3
Because Graphic Communications is boring..And if I get my hand chopped off in there I want it to be super pretty so Dr. Carlisle can comment on my 'art' skills while he reattaches it. =p

Hmm...What else...Nope. I've got nothing. Ooh! Four more days until the new Veronicas CD. And my superfantabulous human mommy got me The Host today. YAY!! I don't think I'm going to go to bed tonight. I'm going to drink something super caffeinated and stay up all night. I'm going to read for like three hours, then watch 'Interview With a Vampire' and 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', which I got from Netflix today. Yeah. That's what I'm going to go do. Right now.

Don't forget to comment!! Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

Usted Es Mi Obsesión

"A donde tu vas, te sigo.
y sólo por ti, yo vivo.
Eres mi obsesión, eres mi obsesión.
es por amor que estoy perdido en ti.

Tú tienes el control de todo mi interior,
y extraño hasta el silencio que hay en tu voz,
si vivir así ya no tiene fin,
no puedo más escuchame esta vez..."
Diego Gonzales, - 'Perdido en Ti'

I love that song. I wish I understood it. Haha. I looked up the lyrics and its basically about an Edward/Bella type love situation. Pretty cool, huh? Every week, iTunes puts out like ten new songs that you can download for free, usually all of them suck, but this week I got three of them. That was the first, and there's another called 'Two Times' by The Blakes. The other one was superweird. It was called 'When The President Talks To God' and it freaked me out. Haha. I deleted that one.

Today was total lameness. Tomorrow will be cool, though. All of our classes are only an hour long because we're doing yearbook signing during fourth period. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, because there will undoubtedly be a picture of me somewhere that looks absolutely hideous. That always happens. Whatever. At least I only have to listen to Ms. Beichler whine about her social life for an hour.

So, in case you haven't heard, I hate dogs. I really don't understand people that love them. Its a smelly animal that runs away and eats poop and scratches its butt by biting it. What's so cool about that? I hate dogs. My dog is especially annoying.

I am SO mad at two people right now. One because she's become this crazy hippie freak just because her new best friend is, and she says things that make her sound SO stupid and SO conceited, like she thinks she's above everyone else because of her stereotype. How pathetic is that? And she is such a hypocrite. I know people grow and evolve and stuff, but this is just ridiculous. She's not being herself, she's being who someone else wants her to be and its just stupid. The other one is stupid and shallow and thinks WAY too highly of herself. She thinks that she is the coolest thing ever and she's just not. She's annoying and shallow and petty and she is really getting on my nerves. Ugh. I hate people. Rhiannon, do you want to go build a bomb shelter and fill it with pizza and candy and junk and just wait out this stupid teenage thing? Might be kinda fun and ultimately less permanently-scarring than this whole high school experience thing.

Hmm..Nothing else is really going on. I absolutely can't wait until summer vacation. I am sick of this stupid repetitive routine. Every day is the same.

Go to English, have a great time but be unable to recall what exactly was so funny.

Go to Graphic Communications, write/read, try to make myself invisible and smile and nod when the stoners start talking to me.

Go to Contemporary Issues, listen to some big conceited black dude talk about how cool he thinks he is, listen to the teacher talk, fall asleep.

Go to lunch, remind everyone how much I hate them, listen to them talk about video games.

Go to Floral Design, say something stupid, have a great time watching seniors entertain themselves with coloring books, worry about the future of the world.

For seriously. Everything has just gotten so boring. I have got to do something fun this summer or I might go crazy.

I'm going to go try to study for five minutes then give up and go to sleep. Yes, it is 8:03, but I'm totally exhausted from my long day of nothingness. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

Ooh yeah. I'm still working on remodeling the page. I took out the bio's and added some links and Myspace-type information. Let me know if there's anything you'd like to see on here. =]

My Heart Beats For Only You..

"I thought I was a fool for no one
But ooh, baby, I'm a fool for you
You're the queen of the superficial
But how long before you tell the truth?.."
Muse - 'Supermassive Black Hole'

Blarg. At the moment I have a really superemo Paramore song stuck in my head [hence the title], which would usually be ok, but right now I can't go and write, so now its just annoying. Haha. I can't go write because I'm babysitting. Blargness. I did write like a page in my EMOEDWARD story today, though. I suppose that's pretty good.

Today was ok, I suppose. English was supercool, of course. I'm for seriously going to miss that class. Ooh! Bella and I decided to write Caius into a fan fiction. Here's the story: A total jerk-face-yet-still-pretty-freaking-cool English teacher gets changed into a vampire, but not only a vampire, an evil vampire. And I don't know what happens next, but I do already have a line made up to go somewhere in it. It goes like this:

"You are not John Rice anymore. That man is dead now. Now, you will be known only as 'The Law Giver'."

Bwahahaha. This is going to be fun.

Tomorrow we're having a party in Floral Design, because its Marissa's last day. She's a senior and she's getting out of that freaking prison graduating, so we're having a party for her. We're ordering pizza and bringing a ton of junk food. I've been assigned cookies. I'm going to make sugar and Edwardgasm flavor, but I'm going to call the Edwardgasm ones 'chocolate chocolate-chip' so no one looks at me funny. Haha.

Rhiannon has decided that we are John Lennon and Paul McCartney. I'm John Lennon, which is supahcool because I already have the glasses. And guess what?!?! George Harrison looks like Jesus! No joke, check it out. He looks like Jesus, doesn't he? Rhiannon says that the Beatles are Jesus. I think she might just be right. I'm wearing my John Lennon glasses right now and I feel pretty cool. Haha. I'm such a dorkmuffin.

Right now I'm making cookies and listening to Muse 'cause I'm cool. So I'm in here all in my mood and everything, and I realized something. A few days ago I was taking a Myspace survey and the question was "What song are you listening to right now?" The person before me put 'Take a Bow' and I put 'Nothing now, but I was really impressed that the person who took this before me was listening to Muse'. Well I just realized that she was probably talking about the Mariah Carey song. That disappoints me to no end. People should be listening to substantial music like Muse instead of Mariah Carey. I mean, have you heard her latest song? Its her warning some dude not to videotape them doing it. How romantic. Geez. What is happening to the world?

Today at lunch, Logan, Josh, Andrew, Toasty, and I spent most of our time reminding each other how much we hate each other. I kind of started it, but usually Andrew does. I think he just does it because deep down he's a sentimental fool and he's going to miss us all like crazy when he graduates. Or he really hates us. Whatever. I'm going to miss him, though. Kinda. Next year is going to suck. Of the few friends I do have, like half are going to stupidevilgoingtobeburnedandmurdered Hardin Valley and like another 25% are graduating. Blarggggg. Its going to be me, Kayla, Cassie, Taylor and Eric all by ourselves next year. Not that I don't love them, but I'm going to miss everyone -especially Rhiannon- sooooooooo much!! This is so not fair. Like every time I'm doing well and making friends they all get taken away from me.

The new Veronicas CD comes out in six days. I totally completely absolutely can't wait. I already have it pre-ordered on iTunes, which I realized was pretty dumb, but I was super excited when it finally showed up on the Veronicas artist page that I had to. It was stupid, though, its not like they're going to run out of copies or anything. Haha. The Host came out today. I'm probably going to get it Thursday or Friday. That kind of worries me, though, because they might actually run out of copies of it, which would suck because I got a 40% off coupon from Borders and it expires next week. I think I'll be ok, though. I'm not as worried about it as I am about Breaking Dawn. If there is a midnight release at a Knoxville store, its going to be insanity, and if I don't get a copy I will cry. And I will continue to cry until someone gives me a copy.

Has anyone heard the song "My Bloody Valentine" by Good Charlotte? Its supercool. I downloaded it earlier.

Does everyone like the new layout? I think its pretty spiffy myself. Its not much different, but I really like it a lot better than the old one. What I really want is a huge banner to go on the top where the "The Coolest Nerd You Know" thing is that still says "The Coolest Nerd You Know" with like a collage of cool stuff I'm interested in on it, but I don't have Photoshop, so I can't make it. Blarg.

Uhm......That's about it for now. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

Everybody, Throw Up Your Hands..

"...Say I don't want to be in love
I don't want to be in love..."
Good Charlotte, "I Don't Want To Be In Love"

So, yesterday was a complete and utter failure. I forgot to blog because I was totally wiped out, I totally pigged out when I got home, I swore like ten times, I whined like all day about how tired I was, I was mean (but it was just Logan, so it shouldn't count. Haha.) And I didn't do anything truly productive. I did, however, write like a page -and a very funny page, at that- in one of my stories.

Yeah, one of my stories. I'm currently working on four, but I'm wayyy too ADD to work on one nonstop until its completed, so I just write according to my mood. I'm currently writing two superemo ones and two really funny ones, so if I'm in a good mood I work on "The Death of Mike Newton" or "Pageant Perfect", but if I'm all emofied I work on "The End" or "Metamorphosis". I have an idea brewing for another one, but IDK if it'll ever happen. It probably will, though. I'm going to have a lottt of free time this summer.

We took the EOC (end of course test) in English yesterday. It was like really easy, but English has always been really easy for me. Caius didn't give us the test, though, so it was totally boring. Some preppy teacher chick came in to administer the test and she spoke to us like we were babies. If she hadn't told us she was an English teacher I would have thought she was a special education teacher. She kept telling us stuff and going "OK, true or false? you can do blahblahblah." It was retarded.

Ok, children, true or false? Helen has to go now because Renee needs the computer. TRUE! Dingdingding! We have a winner. Your prize is...........You get to comment on this superawesome blog. Yayness!

Haha. I'll try to blog again tonight. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

Oops! I almost forgot again. I'm going to start doing a new thing on here where I go on my computer and find three random pictures and post them on here. Why? Because I can. Enjoy.

Random Picture #1 - James E. Hale
^An actual dude in my neighborhood.

Random Picture #2 - Twilight Tulip
^My current cell phone wallpaper.

Random Picture #3 - Phucket
^Helen and Kayla's roadtrip: Forks --> Italy --> Austrailia --> Phucket!!

Time For a New World Order

As a part of my fundamental change in the methodology I use to conduct my life, I have vowed to myself that I will blog every day. So you're going to be seeing a lot more of me. Man, do I feel sorry for you. Haha.

Yeah, my fundamental change in the methodology I use to conduct my life. I have been informed by my father that if I plan on driving, I have to totally change basically everything he doesn't like about me. Well, kind of. He basically expects me to grow up and be all adult-like and capable of being in his presence without ticking him off. I'm not all that into the whole growing up overnight thing, but I do want to learn to drive, and I suppose it will be easier for him to teach me if he's not constantly fed up with my obnoxious teenage antics. So here's my plan for reformation:

1. Stop complaining
(I'm really working on it. Doesn't count when I'm blogging, though. Blogs were invented so people could vent to complete strangers about the pathetic dramas of their pathetic lives.)

2. Do homework at school
(Because I basically have two free periods a day that I spend goofing off and reading when I could be freeing my afternoon to goof off and read when I get home.)

3. Be kind to everyone
(Because lets face it, I go out of my way to be a mean pain in the butt. That must stop. Lets hope its just a stupid freshman thing.)

4. Stop swearing
(Because my mother is about to take my head off. Plus I don't want to be responsible for corrupting my little brothers. Let society do that.)

5. Self-control/Set goals
(Basically, stop eating like a pig and find a way to make myself happy about myself without making myself crazy and/or sick. Guess that applies to controlling what I say, also. And set goals to better my life. Don't exactly know why these two are together, but whatever.)

6. Blog every day
(That one's just to torture my readers. Bwahaha. Just kidding. Mostly because I'm usually doing stupid stuff when I could be blogging, which is somewhat productive. Plus I need to vent to someone other than Renee, Esme, and Bella. I think they're about ready to kill me.)

7. Clean room and bathroom every day
(Because you can't see the floor in my room or the counter in my bathroom by the weekend, or whenever I get around to cleaning.)

8. Walk dog every day
(Because I don't get nearly enough exercise and I refuse to go bathing suit shopping until I get rid of my cankles.)

9. Be assertive
(This one doesn't really need an explanation. I'm a pushover and it needs to stop.)

10. Volunteer at church
(Because all I do is show up every Wednesday and goof off. I should do something other than grace them with my presence. I'm thinking of seeing if I can work with the Sunday school or something.)

11. One and a half hours online a day
(Yeah, that's not gonna happen. I don't know what came over me.)

12. Set aside time for writing
(Because I'm really terrible at updating my stories and a bunch of crazy Twilight fans probably want to jump on me until I update. Plus if I ever want to get around to being a professional writer, I'm going to have to suck it up and designate time to write, which means for about an hour every day I'm going to be in a really emo mood. Don't try to get me out of it or I'll borrow Felix from Caius and he shall kill you.)

13. No more TMI
(Stop spilling every detail about my life to anyone that will hear it. Its just dumb. Plus, that's what I have a blog for. There is no such thing as TMI on here.)

14. Stop being so materialistic
(I can collect things my whole life, but they don't really mean anything. They're things, and they can be lost in a second. Focus on making a lasting impression on people and doing good. Because in the end, I'll be remembered for what I did, not what I had.)

Good plan, huh? I hope I can do it.

So..What's going on in my life? Ooh, Rhiannon and I are killing Mike Newton. It shall be spectacular. Well, we're writing a fan fiction in which Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme kill Mike Newton because Rosalie wears a really short skirt. Haha. I know that makes absolutely no sense, but it will later on. I'll post the link to it when we get it up. I think I want to finish the whole thing, like all the chapters, before I start posting, though. That way there's no way I'll give up mid-project and make people want to jump on my head. Tehe. I just realized that I've never posted the link to my stories on here. In case anyone wants it, here it is:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1452261/Helen-Elise

Very clever pen name, huh?

Not too much is really going other than that. We're reading Romeo and Juliet in English and its depressing and very very dirty and confusing. School is superlame. Only seventeen days left!! And only thirteen and a half as actual school days! w00t! Plus two are final days where we can go home after the tests. Wow. I can't wait for summer. I have to get a job though. Blarg. I'm thinking it'll probably be the Kroger's on Clinton Highway, or something else up there. Blarggggg. Whatever. At least I'll have something to do.

Ok...I'm going to do something unproductive and ultimately unimportant. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

I'm With You

1. Open your library (​iTunes,​ Media​ Player,​ iPod,​ etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press​ play
4. For every​ quest​ion,​ type the song that'​s playing
5. When you go to a new quest​ion,​ press​ the next button
6. Don'​t lie and try to pretend you'​re cool.​.​.​

Opening Credits :
"With or Without You" by U2
Coolness.

Waking Up :
"All These Lives" by Daughtry
That's just depressing..

First​ Day of School :
"Soldier's Poem" by Muse
Love Public education is a battlefield.

Falling in Love :
"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar
I'll hit you harder.

Fight​ Song :
"Discotheque" by U2
w00t! I is hardfreakingcore to the max.

Prom :
"Too Much To Ask" by Avril Lavigne
Yes it is, now back off, loserface.

Life :
"Who Knew" by Pink
Very appropriate.

Mental Break​down :
"The End" by Bullet For My Valentine
Please, I won't succeed. I'm too chicken.

Driving :
"I Saw Her Standing There" by The Beatles
And then I ran her over.

Flash​back :
"Hero Takes a Fall" by The Bangles
Yeah, 'cause that makes sense.

Getting Back Together :
"Imaginary" by Evanescence
Make-believe, much like my boyfriend..

Losing Your Virginity :
"Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson
'Because of you I'm a skankmuffin and Esme is gonna kick my butt...'
Notice the 'Losing Your Virginity' thing came right before the 'Wedding' thing. Tsk tsk. What would Carlisle say?

Wedding :
"Getting By" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Doesn't even make sense.

Birth​ of Child​ :
"A Place in the World" by Taylor Swift
That's almost deep and meaningful..

Final​ Battle :
"Naked" by Avril Lavigne
I fight dirty..And in the buff, apparently.

Death​ Scene​ :
"Cold as You" by Taylor Swift
'I've never been anywhere cold as you...'
For I am a vampire and I am colder.

Funeral Song:​
"Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett
So..open bar? I'm down with that.

End Credits :
"Seventeen Ain't So Sweet" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Neither is fifteen.

Name Of This Bulletin:
"I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne
I'm with anyone who will put up with me.

I'll stop with this lame stuff and post something of substance soon; whenever I decide to take my box out of the closet (Desperate Housewives reference) and start writing something that isn't all emofied.

xo
Helen

Countdowns!!!

These will be relocated at some point..But for now they have their own blog. Enjoy. ^_^

xo
Helen

Whatev

"I hate to say it but they play this dance song in every club
But it's me so I'll show love
But it's me so show me love

When I walk into the room people stop and stare
It's like nobody else is there
You know it's me not you
Who said anything about you

Boys and girls pretend to know me, they try so hard
And I get what I want, my name is my credit card
Don't try to hate me because I am so popular..

Pop, pop, popular! Pop, pop, popular!

Most guys I dated got intimidated
So now I date up
If you know what it means so they shut up
If you know what it means so just shut up..."
The Veronicas - 'Popular'

I have something to confess. I'm a bitch. This may come as a shock to some of you, but it is true. I say mean things for no apparent reason all the time, I do things just to piss people off, and in a really sick masochistic way, I kind of like the negative attention I get from being a bitch.

I realized tonight that people that don't really know me, ie most of the world, probably sees me as some uncontrollable, evil, annoying terror. And they're right. I'm the most annoying person I've ever heard of. If I met myself, I'd slap myself. I honestly don't know why people even put up with me, because I definitely wouldn't.

Why do people put up with me?

I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess I want to make it clear that I don't care. I don't care that I'm a bitch. I don't care that I make people mad. I don't care that I'm probably the weirdest person you'll ever meet. I don't care that I'm a loser. I know I'm a loser. I know I'm a bitch. I know I'm probably the weirdest person you'll ever meet.

I don't really know why I act this way. Maybe its because I was made fun of in elementary school. Maybe it was because of my Zodiac sign. Maybe I need some more medication. I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm not nearly as smart as people tell me I am. I'm not anything that people tell me I am. All I am is someone who spends too much time dwelling on my mistakes and too little time being a good person.

I say the worst thing at the worst time. Saying the pledge of allegiance makes me feel stupid. I go to a church whose beliefs I don't share. I always laugh at something a second too early. I have no self control. I don't speak my mind. I'm too afraid to say no. I make mistakes and don't even try to correct them. I feel like I have to be perfect. I'm insane. I can't let go of anything. I'm a hypocrite. I don't want to live up to other peoples' expectations, I want to do what makes me happy. I'm self centered. I'm conceited. I hate myself sometimes, but I'm too lazy to do anything to change.

I am more like her than I ever thought possible.
I am all 7 sins in one neat little package.
I am stupid, I am mean, I am pathetic.
I am unworthy of the things I have.
I am starting to hate everything.
I cry for nothing of importance.
I am unworthy of what I want.
I am not different or special.
I am losing grip on reality.
I never know what to say.
I don't know who I am.
I love too easily.
I hate too much.
I lie often.
I am angry.
I am me.

Whoa. How do you like that, Malibu Barbie on Crack??

I need to go write something productive now.

Goo Goo G'joob!!

"...Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan from
Standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob.

Expert texpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you?..."
-The Beatles, "I am the Walrus"

Dudee, I love that song muchly. I think I shall sing it with Esme when I get out of here. I have lots and lots to talk about, but first:

Shawn, I cannot believe that you actually used the phrase "Edwardgasm cookies" in your most recent comment. I know you like cookies and that is their proper name, but still. Its just kind of creepy for a dude to be talking about eating something that is the cookie equivalent of an Edwardgasm. That's just not cool, man. Aaaaaaaand the reason that I didn't buy you cookies is because you admitted like thirty minutes earlier that you were a cookie prostitute. That's right, Shawn. You said you only read my blog so I'll bring you cookies, and that makes you a cookie prostitute. Well no more, buddy, no more. You are officially CUT OFF!!

I am in a beautiful mood today. Its all sunshiney outside and nothing terrible has happened so far today. On the contrary, some pretty cool stuff has happened today.

English:
Got cookies. Chocolate chip. They weren't all gooey and right out of the oven, but they were still good. I prefer them to the gooey ones because when they're gooey the chocolate gets under my nails. Suggested electrocuting Krebs to Caius, and he agrees that it should be done. I'll have to do it myself, though, 'cause Caius would probably be fired for electrocuting a student. No homework. SCOREEEEEEE!!!!!

Graphic Communications:
Got cookies. Chocolate chip. Super gooey and chocolaty, but it was cool because I was pretty much done working with the film by then. I am like a dark room master. Haha. Not really, but I know how to adjust the camera and lens, cut the film, take the picture with the superhuge camera and expose the film, develop it, and make it into a pretty negative to make stuff out of. Haha. Its awesomeness on a stick. Jeff says he wants to take a picture of his butt with the gigantic camera thingy, but that would like soooo totally not work. Haha. I'd kind of like to see him try, though..

Contemporary Issues:
My teacher is afraid to say the word "breast". Haha. We were talking about the pregnant man, and she's like "Well the only difference is she doesn't have" *assumes really quiet voice* "breasts." lol. The other day was even better, though. We were talking about the same story, and a couple asked exactly which chick parts he/she kept. That, of course, led to an anatomical conversation of epic proportions. lol. She was trying to explain, she wouldn't say the -er- 'scientific' terms, so she would stop and Joe would just be like "*insert 'scientific' term here*". lol. And then she was going on and on about how she didn't want to hear any vulgar slang in our journal entries about the article, so, of course, Joe basically yells, "What, like cock?" Everyone was cracking up and stupid teacher chick was just like "OMG, I can't believe you." The best part, though, was that Dr. Davis, the principal, was walking by right when Joe said it. Hahahahahahahah.

Floral Design-
Boringness on a stick. We're in the computer lab again, but I didn't even bother pretending to do my work. We're supposed to plan a wedding with a budget of $12,000. And I'm thinking, crap, it'll take at least ten grand to hire someone to kidnap the groom -Kellan Lutz- for me. I guess its a backyard wedding for me. Haha. Before I started writing this I totally hijacked Kayla's blog. Well, not hijacked, exactly, more like posted something relatively useless and stupid on her blog without telling her first. I think I'll tell her after school. Or never. Whatev.

Yesterday in here we went to the library to listen to some chick that works at the school and as a wedding planner talk to us. Boring much? I decided that weddings are way too expensive and I'm going to get married to Kellan in Vegas. We're gonna have a nice little ceremony with just our closest relatives and a Star Wars theme. We're going to be married by Darth Vader. There are gonna be like 12 boys in the wedding party -all dressed up like Storm Troopers- because Kellan has 5 brothers and I have three. He only has one sister, so I guess I'll have to invite Alice, Esme, Bella, and all my other friends along to even it out. The bridesmaids are gonna be Wookies, though, so the groomsmen and/or the groom won't get any bright ideas about my supergorgeous friends. Nikki Reed can't come, though. I hear they have amazing chemistry and I just can't risk it. (lol, sorry, Nikki.) Haha. R2D2 is going to be the flower girl, and C3PO the ring bearer. I am going to make my parents dress up like Han Solo and Princess Leia. And Kellan's parents can be Jabba the Hut and Mrs. Jabba the Hut. Haha. Just kidding, I'm sure they're lovely people. Kellan's gonna be a supersexy undiscovered Jedi dude, and I'm going to be a princess whose planet isn't plagued by war and all that stuff. To be perfectly honest, I've only seen like half of the movies, so I'm kind of pulling all of this out of my ass. Haha. Its gonna be great, though. And after the ceremony, we're gonna blow the remaining $11,5000 on a really pimped out Jeep. ^_^

Oh yeah, so I'm having a tea party for my birthday. We totally trashed the at-home birthday party idea, because I wanted to wear a pretty dress and be seen in a pretty dress. Haha. I'm going to get my pretty dress this weekend. I already have my tiara, though. Its gorgeous to the max. I'm gonna curl my hair and be all glamorized and stuff. I absolutely can't wait. We found this cute little tea shop downtown-ish and its going to be sooooooo much fun. But I am kind of scared that some old lady is going to hit us with her purse or something if we interrupt her tea time. lol. I'm making everyone wear dresses -even Ben and Eric- lol. I absolutely can't wait.

Only nine days left until my birthday! The party is going to be the week after, so Bella and Alice are going to spend the night the night before my birthday and then we're going to go to IHOP in our PJ's the next morning. And, of course, I will be wearing my tiara. I love my tiara. I wish my birthday was on a school day so I could wear it to school. Blarg. lol. I wish Esme could spend the night, too, but she has to go see the Pope. He's coming to New York and he's going to hold mass there on my birthday. How cool is that? I'm kind of hoping that Esme can get him to give me a little shout out or something, 'cause, like, this absolutely has to be televised. Haha. I'm just being silly now. Isn't it glorious? (<--Great song!!)

Mmkay, we only have a few minutes left, so I am going to bid you my supercool adeiu and talk to you later. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

&&emo;;

"Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
She's the kind of girl you want so much
It makes you sorry
Still you don't regret a single day..."
-The Beatles, "Girl"

I was thinking about that song today. Its kind of depressing, because it kind of makes me think of Across the Universe, which is like uber depressing. Blarggggggg. I'm in another emo funk. I should be doing something productive with my emoness, like working on my EMOEDWARD story, but I just don't feel like it. Plus I'm in Floral Design and I'm supposed to be planning a fake wedding, and I think my teacher would notice if I just got out my story and started writing. Maan, I wish I had Visual Communications with Rhiannon and Miranda instead of this stupid class. We never do anything in here.

Have I mentioned that I hate all of my classes? 'Cause its true. In English that stupid Anarchist asswipe Krebs won't stop bothering me, people keep trying to get me stoned in Graphic Communications, my Contemporary Issues teacher is a moron, and we never do anything in Floral Design. Blargggggggg.

Gahh. Contemporary Issues. I really hate that class. My teacher is an idiot. All she does is complain about her pathetic lack of a love life, which I really don't want to hear about. And she thinks that Hong Kong is in Japan. (Haha..That reminds me, Kaila thinks that Japan isn't an island. I guess there are just a lot of misconceptions about Japan.) Today was pretty neat, though. First she was complaining because that pregnant transgender chick/dude could find someone to marry and have babies with and she can't. Then, she was talking about going somewhere tonight. She was like "I have something to do tonight." and this one guy was like "WHO??". Bwahahahaha. I lovededed it. (He didn't mean it like that, though, which kind of took some of the fun out of it.)

Blarg. I don't know what else to talk about. Someone leave me some suggestions in the comments. I would go, but I have about twenty minutes left in class and I really don't want to randomly browse the internet for twenty minutes. There's some scary stuff out there. So I'll just babble on about nothing. Enjoy.

-Esme says "No clapping. Ever."
-Gilmore Girls is hardfreakingcore to the extreme. 15% of my and Bella's daily conversations consist of Gilmore Girls quotes.
-I went shopping with Alice on Sunday. It was supercool.
-I am the walrus.
-I think I'm going to have a tea party for my birthday.
-I finally got some flip flops that don't totally kill my feet.
-In my imaginary wedding that I'm planning, I'm marrying Emmett. ^_^
-I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden with you!!
-Actually, I'd like to be at Starbucks drinking something really really unhealthy.
-Must. Have. Coffee. Blarg.
-The clock in here is stuck on 5:39 and the second hand keeps moving back and forth between 32 and 33. Its like 44 pi magic or something.
-I want some lime/neon green nail polish.
-The yellow nail polish makes my nails look infected, but I still love it.
-Right now, I'm wearing a pink glitter nail polish called 'Princesses Rule'.
-Princesses really do rule.
-We all live in a yellow submarine.
-Ten more minutes!!
-I really want some cookies. I might make some when I get home.
-I have an out of state reader. I'm shocked to the max. Hi, Kansas!!! =D
-Laura sent me a Jasper/Bella & Edward/Alice slash story. I'm too scared to read it.
-She also sent me one about Rosalie and Emmett going to Sex Addicts Anonymous.
-Laura spends too much time online.
-U2 rocks my socks.
-Oprah is a cult.
-Newspaper taxis appear on the shore, waiting to take you away..
-My toes must really hate me right now.
-Seven minutes.
-Floral Design is boring.
-The Colbert Report will never be the same..
-Sorry, Esme. I had to.
-Please don't go all Volturi on my ass.
-I have a huge English test tomorrow.
-Blarg.
-I want purple streaks in my hair.
-Five minutes.
-My bathroom smells like pineapples.
-Caius hates Spongebob. Caius must be exiled.
-When all the broken hearted people living in this world agree, there will be an answer: let it be.

Three minutes. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

=/

Ok..I don't really want to post anything, but Kayla and Shawn won't stop bitching, so here you go. Be advised, though, I'm a weirdo mixture of sleepy, PMS-y, bored, and grumpy, so this may very well be one really long emo rant. Enjoy.

I finished chapter two of my New Moon story and sent it off to my fantabulous beta, Esme, last night. Its like EMOEDWARD extreme. I lovee it. Its kind of creepy, but I can only write depressing fan fictions. All of my Gilmore Girls and SVU stories are filled with morbidness, and now I'm writing a 'New Moon from Edward's POV' story, so, of course, that's gonna be some serious emoness. Honestly, I think that my morbid stories are one more "SCREW YOU" to the stupid Malibu Barbie guidance counselors at WVMS. I hate those evil plastic freaks..

Speaking of emoness and bitchiness, has anyone noticed that I'm an emo bitch? Honestly, until today I knew I was kind of bitchy, but I didn't really think I was emo, but apparently I'm both morphed together to be one super EMOBITCH. Like seven people told me today that I'm a bitch, and people have been telling me I'm emo for, like, ever, but I never believed them. I mean, I shop at Hollister for God's sake!!! I really hate it when people call me emo. And I really really hate it when people say that being a nerd is a bad thing. Excuse you. The nerds are going to be your bosses one day. Bill Gates, anyone?

I hate Graphic Communications. I'm the only Freshman in there, and it sucks. Not only do I get bothered for that, but I also have to sit and listen to the Seniors bitch about their cars and sports, or listen to the stoners talk about how messed up they were or whatever. And I can't just read, because then someone asks me why I'm always reading or whatever. Gahh. And the stoners keep trying to get me to get high. This one guy said he'd give me free hydros just to see my high. WTF?? I hate people.

I really really hate Logan. He acts like a three year old and I can't stand him. We're not friends anymore, if anyone cares. Today he completely freaked me out. We were at lunch and he was all quiet and stuff, then he started like totally going off on Josh. I was like totally convinced that he was going to pull a gun on us at any moment. I left and went to the library. Then Andrew texted me and told me that he was just kidding. I don't believe that. He's insane. He needs therapy and probably pills.

Ugh. Andrew. And Josh. And Toasty. All those loserfaces -and some others- are graduating and leaving me alone with Logan in like..A month. That's gonna suckkkkkkkkkkk. Next year is going to suck altogether. 90% of my friends are getting shipped off to Hardin Valley, 5% are graduating, and the other five are staying here. Gahh. Stupid Hardin Valley. I hate it muchly.

Ugh. The other day my Graphic Communications teacher did that really really really stupid and degrading "If you ever need any help, I'll help you" thing. I jokingly called Logan my stalker, and he got all serious and stuff. UGH! I hate it when people do that. It gives the impression that they think I'm a stupid weak little girl and I can't take care of myself. I can take care of myself. Damn. If I actually had a stalker, don't you think I'd actually tell someone? I liked you better when you were telling us about your epic night in jail, you loser.

I've noticed that I always like steal peoples' phrases or something -like losernoodle, for example- and use them too much and make them uncool. I'm such a loser. Blarg. I'm such an uncool Freshman loser. And I look totally gross because my medicine made me gain like seventy bagillion pounds. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I think I'm going to start kickboxing. Mostly because I need to do something to exercise and stuff, and kind of because there are a couple jerks that I would like the opportunity to hit. Krebs punched me like really hard in English today because he's a stupid Anarchist asswipe and I want to break his nose. I hope he gets a billion papercuts all over his body and has to jump in a pool of alcohol.

I'm starting to really hate all of my classes. Only like six more weeks of school. w00t! I can't wait until summer, I don't want to deal with school drama anymore. I have to get a job, though, because there's no way I'm going to be sitting around doing nothing all summer. Ugh. I don't want to get a job. I want to do something cool like watch every episode of Southpark ever made or something. That would be so much cooler than getting a job.

Ok. I think I need to stop ranting now. I hope you enjoyed this pathetic little update.

-Helen

Hugs For Emmett Campaign

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Helen

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