Unintended

"And when it rains,
On this side of town it touches, everything.
Just say it again and mean it.
We don't miss a thing.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole
And convinced yourself that
It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, I need the ending.
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?"
-Paramore, "When It Rains"

Its very Forks-y here today. Rhiannon said it looked like there was going to be a tornado. I told her she was freaking me out.

I think the reason I stopped blogging for a long time a few months ago was because I realized something. I realized that I had an obsession with preserving memories in film and text instead of relying merely on my own memory. Last semester I spent a lot of important moments trying really hard to remember everything, and I forgot to enjoy the moment. I'm glad I realized that last semester, though, because last semester sucked. I spent the whole time crushing on a guy that I might have had a chance with if I hadn't been so scared. I made a fool of myself too many times to count. I made some stupid mistakes. Its cool, though. I've put it all behind me and I'm focusing on now. I think that's why I don't post insanely detailed and long blogs like I did before. Some things I want to keep to myself. And, of course, there are some that I'd like to forget.

This semester is going well, though. I have an awesome boyfriend that makes me smile like this. (<-- RAWR! A baby kitty!) And I've finally gotten my hair to behave and I've gotten the hang of everything. It always seems that I get into a perfect rhythm and stuff near the end of an experience. Oh well. I guess I can only try to make next year better.

Country music is the epitome of depression. For seriously. When I hear country music, even if its something very pop-ish and upbeat like Taylor Swift, I get depressed. Probably because of my hillbilly hell experiences. Cyndi Lauper, however, is the epitome of hyperness. And 'She Bob' is just the song to get me absofantabulouslutley insanely hyper. Haha. I am Jack's ADHD medication..

Today was supahcool. We're watching a ghettofied version of Romeo and Juliet in English (the one with Leonardo DiCaprio) and Capulet said "Give me my long sword, ho!" Just like in the play. That's what's so weird about the movie, its all ghettoness, but it has all of the original words. We're absolutely loving it. I'm going to miss that class sooo much! We have to do a research paper next week. My topic is vampires and Kayla was going to do Volterra, but then I suggested the Beatles, so she's doing that instead. Dude, when I got to school this morning I was kind of emofied and all ready to write like six chapters in my EMOEDWARD story, but then Kayla came up to me and was all hyper because her mom took her to Sonic and she got a java chiller thing. Kayla and coffee do not mix well. She really needs to start drinking it every day so she gets used to it and not so crazy. Long story short, she made me all hyper and I couldn't write anything. My EMOEDWARD readers probably want to jump on her head now. Good going, you stupid human. =p

My brother just got mud on the carpet. Apparently he has a death wish.

Evanescence is like the most depressing band ever, and I have no idea why I don't use them for writing music. Probably because they're so depressing that I'd go slit my wrists after I was done writing. Lets avoid that, shall we? Blood on top of my terrible handwriting would make it impossible for Esme to beta for me.

We did yearbook signing during fourth period today. It was awesome, but it was super hot in the gym and in the commons, so it was nice to finally get outside at 3:30. The yearbook was pretty much totally lame. I was only in it one time, and I don't even look like me because I straightened my hair for the picture. Whatever. Next year I'm going to play rugby (no, that wasn't a typo, I'm seriously going to do a sport) and join a bunch of clubs so I have stuff to do. Who knows, maybe I'll even start my own club. Like Supernerds Anonymous or something. We can have Twilight Tuesdays! Ahh. I totally want to do this now. Screw Hardin Valley, Karns is going to be the place to be next year. Haha.

Random picture time! Enjoy:
Random Picture #1
Yeah..I vandalized the bus. But I did it in the name of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. It was worth it.
Random Picture #2
New Years was sooo much fun. Do you believe that there was no alcohol involved?
Random Picture #3
Because Graphic Communications is boring..And if I get my hand chopped off in there I want it to be super pretty so Dr. Carlisle can comment on my 'art' skills while he reattaches it. =p

Hmm...What else...Nope. I've got nothing. Ooh! Four more days until the new Veronicas CD. And my superfantabulous human mommy got me The Host today. YAY!! I don't think I'm going to go to bed tonight. I'm going to drink something super caffeinated and stay up all night. I'm going to read for like three hours, then watch 'Interview With a Vampire' and 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', which I got from Netflix today. Yeah. That's what I'm going to go do. Right now.

Don't forget to comment!! Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

Helen Rose: Demon Blogger of KHS

Heyy everyone! Sorry its been so long since the last update. I'm still on Winter break and honestly, there hasn't been too much to report. The day after Christmas I went with my whole family (me, my parents, three brothers, grandparents, great-grandmother, two aunts, uncle, and three cousins) to have family pictures taken. That was fun. Laura and Kayla came over for New Year's Eve, and I've been rereading the Twilight books. I'm on Eclipse now, and I have to say, Bella is an idiot.

I mean, come on! She has the hottest, nicest, smartest, coolest guy EVER and she keeps risking it all to hang out with a stupid werewolf. What's so great about werewolves, Bella? Do they sparkle in the sun? No. Do they watch Romeo and Juliet with you and whisper Romeo's lines in your ear [Edwardgasm much?]?? No. Are they anywhere near as awesome as vampires. NO!!! They're stupid dogs and they smell bad. Gahh. Remember all the Romeo and Juliet stuff in New Moon? "They fight. Paris falls." So let Paris fall already!

Ok, enough ranting. I absolutely love the Twilight series. So much so that I actually wrote a Twilight fan fiction. How cool is that? Click here to read it. Its pretty cool. Its Edward's point of view while breaking up with Bella in New Moon.

Other than all that madness not much has been going on. I mentioned that Bella and Alice came over for New Year's. That was awesome. We stayed up until 7:00 AM then crashed for three hours. While we were awake we did all kinds of crazy things. These include making a huge string of bras and hanging it up in my room (thanks to Caitlin for facilitating this. If she hadn't started my bra fetish it never would have been possible.) and we also harassed Shayne online for a while. That was pretty cool. He probably thinks we're crazy now, but whatever. He already knew I'm crazy. Everyone knows I'm crazy.

Today was absolutely completely awesome. I woke up just after noon and was informed approximately twenty seconds after I woke up that I wasn't allowed online until I finished Jane Eyre. I hate Jane freaking Eyre with a burning passion. There was no way that I was going to waste the rest of my break reading that stupid book, so I read the summaries online. I finished in about an hour and enjoyed it much more than I would have enjoyed reading the book. I absolutely love reading, but only when its interesting. Jane-oh-my-Carlisle-so-freaking-boring-Eyre is not interesting.

After I finished reading I went to get ready to go to the movies. I went with Dad to see Sweeney Todd. It was absolutely fantastic. It was kind of gory, but completely worth it. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter really rocked, and all of the other actors were amazing as well. It was a little distracting because the cast was made up of actors that I've actually heard of. It was like Jack Sparrow, Borat, Bellatrix Lestrange, Serverus Snape, and Peter Pettigrew instead of the actual characters. And, of course, I was looking for people for the Twilight movie as well. I decided that Jamie Campbell Bower could very easily be Jasper, and Helena Bonham Carter could be Victoria if they straightened her hair. Think about it, people.

After the movie Dad and I went to Borders. We got coffee -because it was like 6:30 PM, about damn time for some coffee- and looked at books. Well, he looked and I texted Shaine and Laura. He ended up getting some outdoors-y book and making fun of a guy with long hair. (Not to the guy's face, of course.) In the guy's defense, it was a really pretty color. Haha.

When we got home I ate and got online, and here we are. I only have two more days until school's back in session, and I'm mildly terrified. I don't really know why, but I am. Probably because so far there's no one I know in the third and fourth period classes. Here's my schedule:

1. Honors English - Coach Rice
2. Art I - Mr. Shinn
3. Contemporary Issues - Ms. Biechler
4. Spanish I - Ms. Hess

Anyone have classes with me? Let me know.

Uhh..I think that's about it. Sorry for the short post. I'll get to those elaborations soon, promise. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

Merry Christmas!

"Here, this one's for Helen."
"Did you get me Edward Cullen in a box?!"

Haha. I love Christmas! I didn't get Edward Cullen in a box, but I did get Twilight and New Moon in hardback so I can't destroy them. Did I mention I love Christmas?

Ben woke me up at about 6:30, pretty good considering the fact that sign I put on my door last night said 7:00. Usually its 5:30ish and then an hour of waiting for my parents to wake up. So he woke me up -a lot nicer than Chip or Josh would have, I might add, they would have jumped on me- and I went to fix my hair and put on some makeup before going upstairs. When I got upstairs I didn't even look at the tree, I went straight for the coffee. Dad laughed and said it was understandable. I was done with the coffee before we were halfway through with the presents. I am so not a morning person.

After presents my brothers went to go set up their new Wii and I got more coffee. I was awake by this point, and really into the whole Christmas thing. Mom told me about how she tracked down my impossible to find lipgloss, and it was hilarious. Apparently she went into Bath and Body Works to find it and some gay guy helped her. (Hmm..I wonder if it was Scottie.) He was wearing pink lipstick and going on and on about how amazing this lipgloss is. He helped Mom find it, actually using the phrase "Oh, honey" in the process. Ha! I love gay guys. For seriously. I want one. Oh, Scottie....

Since then we've just been hanging out. Every year Mom makes cinnamon rolls -the real ones that I was supposed to bring Shaine after Thanksgiving- and this year they are ah-mashing. For seriously, I don't know how she does it, but they are awesome. Oh, did I mention that Mom is the best cook in like the whole world? She really is. If you don't believe me come over for pasta sometime.

We're going to my grandparents' house around one. That'll be really cool, I love it when my whole family gets together. Its really really really really loud with the six little kids (yeah, I'm the oldest of the seven grandchildren) running around, but its fun.

Since I'm going to be adding stuff to this all day I'm going to break it up into sections. So far is section one, 6:30 - 10:57. Peace, loves.

***

Here goes part two.. 12:36 PM.

I just got to my grandparents' house. My Aunt Jen and Uncle Dave are here, along with my grandparents and my great grandmother. My other aunt and younger cousins aren't here yet, so we can't open presents for a while. I've been instructed to hide the computer mouse when she arrives, so this might be the last update until tonight when I get home.

After the last update I got ready to go and sent my Myspace friends pretty 'Merry Christmas' comments. If you didn't get one I obviously don't love you.

ADD sidenote: I absolutely love my grandparents' keyboard. It doesn't make as much noise as mine does. Must remember to get one so Dad will let me stay on the computer later. He always complains that I keep him up banging on the keyboard.

Everyone looks like really good. I mean, I know you're supposed to on holidays, but its a new thing for my brothers. They're all wearing button-down shirts and they look really nice. I think they may have bathed, too, but I won't get my hopes up. I think I look pretty good. I'm wearing a pink sweater that Santa brought me. While I was getting ready I realized that I've worn a pink sweater on Christmas for the last three years. I'll try to find pictures, but I might not post them. I had really bad hair from the time I was eleven to this year. (I finally have it under control now, though, which is kind of laughable if you've seen my hair.)

Ok, so its 12:46 now and I think I'm going to go socialize with my family now. Maybe my uncle will tease me about my big nose again..Ha! I love my crazy family. Peace, loves.

***

Part three: 2:11 PM

Just got done with presents. It was actually pretty pleasant, no drama. Some screaming, but no drama. I sat with Aunt Jen -who I have decided is really awesome- and laughed as Dad and Uncle Dave passed out presents at a painfully slow pace just to annoy Aunt Reetie. Man, my family totally rocks.

ADD sidenote: There may be some typos in here until I get home. My internet has a built in spell checker, which I rely on desperately, and my grandparents' doesn't. Bear with me if I sound completely stupid. lol.

After the last post I went and hung out with the relatives and ate cookies. My grandmother -Nonnie- made about thirty thousand cookies, and I plan to eat at least twelve thousand before the day is out. I talked with Aunt Jen about all the cool stuff she does. (I really don't know her that well because she and Uncle Dave only got married two years ago and I've only seen them a handful of times since then.)

Turns out that the place where she works caters for What Not To Wear when they're in New York. How cool is that? She said that Stacy and Clinton are really low maintenance when it comes to their food, and she assumes that they're pretty laid back in real life. Clinton, maybe, but I for seriously doubt that Stacy is. I mean, have you seen her show? She's like a total betch! (A really really awesome betch, but a betch all the same.) I tried to explain this without using the word 'betch' or any variation, so I don't think I actually made my point, but whatev. They also cater the Baby Phat fashion shows. All I know about Baby Phat is that Kimora Lee Simmons was a guest judge on America's Next Top Model a few times, but that's still pretty cool. Not as cool as What Not To wear, but still pretty cool.

A little after that Aunt Reetie showed up and we started opening presents. Dad and Uncle Dave played Santa this year, and it was really funny. I think its so cool how over time brothers-in-law can become brothers, because you -or at least I- can totally tell how well they get along. They were absolutely hilarious, and with my Aunt Reetie here it will be insanely hilarious. I love it when my family is all together. For seriously, if you saw us all together for just ten minutes you would know where I get it. ('It' being my outstanding sense of humor, big nose, and bigger ego.)

Like I said before, we just got done with presents and now I am like starving to death. Its 2:24 and we're eating in an hour, but I don't know if I can make it that long. I think I'm going to get some cookies and get verbally abused by my 'loving' relatives. =p Peace, loves.

***

3:05 PM

Gahhh. They're cooking very slowly and it is NOT fun. So question: Is anyone reading this as I post like a crazy person? Haha. If you are leave a comment so I know.

In the like forty minutes since I left you I have done basically nothing. I ate some cookies and listened to Mom, Uncle Dave, and Aunt Reetie talk about the time Mom tried to crucify Uncle Dave. No, I'm not kidding. When they were kids Mom tried to nail him to a tree, and he has a scar on his foot from it. This was after Mom left him out in the snow when he was a baby. I don't think Mom much liked the idea of younger siblings. (Ha! I took it a lot better than she did, I just complain a lot. JK. I love my little brothers more than anything, even if they are annoying.) Its pretty funny because when Uncle Dave got bigger he got revenge. Once he put her on top of the refrigerator and wouldn't let her down for hours, and once he hung her by her belt loop on the security lock thing in a hotel. I'm thinking that my parents should be thankful that I only yell at my brothers..I could hang them by their toes off the back porch. Hmm...That's an idea. Maybe Uncle Dave will help.

So are y'all having good Christmas? I definitely am, and will continue right about...Now. Its 3:12 I'm going to go -er- patiently wait for the food to be ready. Peace, loves.

PS- Its technically a white Christmas. Its raining and sleeting and snowing a little. Ha! That's Tennessee for you. We like never get snow. For seriously! I've been out of school for more rain days than snow days. Ridiculous.

***

4:09 PM

OMG, I'm like totally stuffed. I think we may have a problem, how the hell am I going to eat pie?! Haha. I just laughed out loud at all the morons who think I'm anorexic.

So dinner was awesome. Like for seriously, my family is made up of amazing cooks. The conversation was better, though. My family temporarily moved the spotlight from me -because obviously its always on me- to my brother Chip and his inablity to stop laughing. Its really amusing. If you tell him something funny he just can't stop. And if you tell him something not so funny he can't stop. It reminds me of Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Not the crappy movie, but the book. "Must...Not...Look..Like a....Baboon's backside!!!" (It was close to that, at least. If you've read the book you get it.) So Uncle Dave and Aunt Reetie picked on him for a while, and then the spotlight came back to me and we talked about how charming I was when I was little.

See, Aunt Jen asked how Chip (whose real name is Phillip) got his nickname, and I explained that when he was born I was obsessed with Beauty and the Beast. Phillip became Chip the cup, Mom was Mrs. Potts, Dad was the beast, and I was Belle. So apparently one time when I was like three I was over here with Nonnie and Aunt Reetie and a friend of Aunt Reetie's came to pick her up. I answered the door and I said, "I'm Belle the girl in the castle, who the hell are you?" Ha! I was such a cool little kid, Aunt Reetie's friend even said so.

So now with that charming little anecdote finished, I'm going to have some coffee and pie. Its like 4:19, so I say its time for pie. Talk to you soon. Peace, loves.

***

6:29 PM

Just got home. Did you miss me? The pie was amazing, I'm never eating again. Or until tomorrow morning, whichever comes first. After dessert I listened to my aunts and uncle talk in depth about hair products (not joking) and then sat in the living room with everyone and we just hung out. My younger cousins and my youngest brother kept jumping all over Uncle Dave and it was pretty funny. One of my cousins obviously just got new feet, because he was falling all night long. Not even kidding. It was hilarious.

So all in all it was an amazing Christmas. If I hadn't mentioned it before, I love having all of my family here. We're all -all being the fifteen of us- going to have a family portrait taken tomorrow. That will be interesting. I wonder who's going to end up in a headlock this time. =p

Well, I think that's about it. I hope everyone had a great day and got to spend some quality time with their families. Its 6:38 and Dad's kicking me off here in about five minutes, and I have to talk to some people on Myspace, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

Preface

"Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Said I'll be fine
You know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
Ooh feeling good..."
-Muse, Feeling Good

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! It is currently 8:31 on Monday morning, and my brothers -who will be referred to as the demon children from now on- woke me up at like 8:10 to do our gift exchange. I don't understand why they were so excited, I'm sure they'd already told each other what they got. The Christmas Spirit is completely lost on those stupid kids.

So where did I leave off? Thursday afternoon? Ok, then, Friday. It was actually pretty cool. Around nine I went with my parents to see Josh get his citizenship award. I think I'm starting to understand why little kids are so obnoxious. Its an imitation. For seriously, listening to kindergarten teachers talk is like beating your head against a wall for a long period of time (similar to the effect of talking to my uncle, who is now in town for the holiday). It was cute, though. The teachers sang some Christmas songs -and I asked "What about the Jewish kids?!"- and then they started giving out awards. Dad was all annoyed because they gave one to every kid and were supposedly setting up them up for failure. I think he's just a drama queen.

After that we came home and I spent the rest of the day online. Well, the rest of the day until about four when I went Christmas shopping with Dad. He got some stuff for -ahem- someone and I got a present for Chip, who I drew for the secret Santa thing. It was actually pretty cool, and so is Dad when he isn't intentionally trying to get on my nerves (which he does often). We went to Starbucks (see, that's where I get it. My father is a guy that can justify coffee at 5:30 in the evening) and the mall. That was interesting. He was unusually patient. He actually stood in line for me while I shopped at Aeropostale. He's so (get your cameras ready, because this might never happen again) cool.

When we got home I wrapped Chip's present and continued my search for Twilight icons. I actually found a whole lot. I'll add them to the end of this post. I continued my search on Saturday after I was done shopping with my family. The demon children went to finish their secret Santa shopping, and I was basically there to entertain Dad while Ben shopped for Josh. I wasn't very entertaining after he informed me that I failed my gym final. I mean, it was expected, but for a little while my OCD perfectionist took over and I almost started crying right there in Target. Ha! That would have been interesting. Speaking of my OCD perfectionist, I've felt really OCD the last few days. I mean, I alway have little weird tenancies, but its been especially obnoxious recently. Its probably just stress. Or withdrawal from my friends. I miss my betches!!

After shopping we came home and Mom started cooking. We're having my grandparents, aunts, uncle, and cousins over for dessert tonight and there was a bunch of sweet stuff to make. I spent the rest of Saturday online and cleaning. Pretty interesting, huh? (Yes, I do realize that I really need to get a life outside of the interweb, but what's the point? The real world is just as boring, just at a slower pace.) After about six hours online I went to my room to watch Rent (ie. my favorite movie ever) but I only got to Santa Fe before I got tired and went to sleep.

Sunday was equally boring. I woke up around 11 because someone was banging on something and it woke me up. I came upstairs and Mom was still cooking. We hung out pretty much all day, until my grandmother -Nonnie- called around three to tell us that my aunt and uncle just got into town and were coming over to surprise us. Not cool, man! The house was like a total mess and we were cleaning like crazy until they got here. They arrived while I was downstairs cleaning my bathroom, and my uncle decided it would be absolutely hilarious to just stand behind me and be quiet until I noticed him. Not funny. It scared me and he laughed. Not cool, man. After that I finished cleaning the bathroom and then came upstairs to hang out with everyone. We gave my aunt and uncle a tour of the house, because they haven't seen it since it was under construction. It looks a lot better now.

We hung out and ate Christmas cookies for a while, and then they had to go back to my grandparents' house. After they left I got back online for a while and then went downstairs to finish watching Rent. Not a good idea. I mean, I was already kind of lacking in Christmas spirit, but after watching Angel die and everyone get AIDS I actually was the emo kid that Shayne insists I am. For a little while, at least. Then I got online and was happy again. After a few hours of wasting time I went to bed and dreamed that Bella and Edward were singing 'No Day But Today'. It was pretty amusing.

Christmas Eve rocked my socks. (Yeah, its Christmas morning now, because I couldn't finish this yesterday.) We hung out like all day and then around 7 my Aunt Jen and Uncle Dave came over and fed us. My uncle is a chef in Rhode Island (he used to live in NYC, which sounds better, but he moved) and I absolutely love it when he visits because he makes like the best food ever. They made some freaky chopped walnut and cheese thing, which was actually pretty good, and freaky pizza. One was like freaky (yeah, I'm saying 'freaky' a lot, but its an accurate description) cheese with basil and the other was like mushrooms and caramelized onions. That one was really nasty. I hope I didn't offend my aunt when I threw it away.. ^_^

Eventually my grandparents got here with my younger cousins (my other aunt was MIA) and it was insanely loud. We tried to banish the kids to the downstairs, but it didn't help much. Everyone was running around and eating and screaming. It would have been terrible if it wasn't so much fun having most of my family there. I love it when my uncle comes into town, even if he does devote just as much time to bugging me as my dad does. I am starting to understand why he and my aunt only come a few times a year, though.

After everyone left we cleaned up and I put my youngest brothers to bed. I read them 'The Night Before Christmas' and it was really sweet because they knew some of the words and read along with me. They'll both be able to read by next year, so they can read it to me. lol. I hate reading out loud, but I love doing it with them. Once they were in bed I watched part of some old Christmas movie with Dad, and then I was banished to the dungeon (ie. my room) so they could get everything done and get to bed. I got ready for bed and hung out and watched Gilmore Girls for a while before I went to sleep. There were no visions of sugarplums dancing in my head, but there were a few vampires. ;]

That's about it, I suppose. I'll try to post again later. I hope everyone has a happy, safe Christmas (/Hanukkah /whatever). Talk to you soon. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen