A.D.D.

So today, after the first terrible two minutes, rocked! Seriously. If I had the ability, I would have danced or something, it was just that cool.

Before anyone asks, and I know you want to ask: Yes, I broke up with Jonathan. No, I don't really want to tell you why. No, it was no great drama, it just didn't work out. Yes, I do go though guys really fast. Scott said I have 'Guy ADD'. I say that's about right. Its really terrible. Maybe I can get medication, like a guy that isn't a total bore for once. That could work. This all ties into my Carrie Bradshaw epiphany, which I'm still working on writing. I'll post it as soon as I can.

So after the breakup -the first terrible two minutes- I stole some of Laura's Starbucks and I was over it. (Yeah, I can be a little bit of a cold-hearted wench. Your point?) Then to Biology, BORING! Everyone was like totally obsessed with the fact that I dumped Jon. When did that happen? When did people start caring about my drama? I mean, I know I'm interesting and all, but come on..

The History test definitely jumped up off the paper and kicked my ass. Well, the essay did at least. It was a nightmare. I hate tests. After that we went to homeroom to get our report cards. They didn't have mine, so I had to wait until lunch when I could stop by guidance and get it.

Kayla wasn't at school today. =[ I had to endure Algebra without her. It was terrible. Not only did I have to pay attention, but Ben took Kayla's desk (on my right) and Eric was sitting in his desk (on my left) and they took turns poking me. I do not particularly enjoy being poked, especially when it makes me scream and everyone looks at me funny. Not cool.

I sat with Eric, Ben, Shaine, and everyone again today at lunch. Mostly because they had invaded my usual table and I had no choice. Leigh Ann was ready to kill them. She gets very defensive about our table. Anyhow, that was interesting enough. Eric has taken to searching through my purse and scaring all of his guy friends -the only girls are me and some chick that never talks- with tampons. Its incredibly immature, but completely hilarious. I told Kayla about it yesterday and we made up a whole bit about it. I'll let her blog about that one.

Gym was gay with a capital B. (The B is for Brandon, the gay guy I accidentally went out with a few months ago.) First, while we were going to the track and I was riding on Kelly's back -which I love to do, don't ask why, I just like being picked up and carried- Ashlie decided to be 'funny' to the point of sheer grodyness (new word) and take her sucker stick and put it down the back of my gym pants. I'm not even kidding. The chick is absolutely nuts. (She likes to spy on people when they're in the bathroom.) So we were all yelling and laughing when that happened, which spurred more yelling and laughing, and I notice this guy I used to know (I say that because he hasn't spoken to me for months, so screw him) in the parking lot like looking at us like we're crazy. Well, looking at me like I'm crazy. I am crazy, but still. I don't need any confirmations. So what did I do? I smiled and waved, of course. I will be such a great Bree Hodge wannabe someday.

So after that we got to the track area and Emily and I were running and skipping towards the actual track, and I totally wasn't paying attention and I ran into the latch thing that closes the fence. It hurt like hell and still does. So I swore and then went with Emily to make sure it wasn't bleeding. It wasn't, but it still looked gross. Its a huge scratch on my right thigh. We went back to the track and Coach Creepy almost said something to me about it -in front of the whole class- so I interrupted him with "You know what? That's the coolest thing I've ever done, so don't start!" Later he asked me if my leg was hurt, and I told him no, just my pride.

After gym I went outside and hung out with Scott, Destinie, and another Emily. (There are like 200 Emily's at Karns, no lie.) We took some of pics (pic 1, pic 2, pic 3) and laughed at some stuff. Rhiannon is speaking again. Turns out Shaine bet her she couldn't talk for like two days. I think she won. Then my bus came and I came home.

I've been online ever since. I've done some interesting stuff, too. I redesigned and updated the 'about me' on my myspace and made a really crappy 'New Moon' wallpaper. I'm redoing it tomorrow, because that's my favorite quote from that book, the wallpaper just didn't turn out well. Other than that, I did nothing. I really don't know how I am able to waste hours on the computer, but able I am. Maybe its just because I'm hardcore like that.

I talked to Laura for a while. She's awesome. Here's what she had to say after reading this blog page:
"Oh my God. That's the second best thing I've ever read."
"Second?! What's first?"
"The Twilight series."
"Oh, ok. Just making sure your priorities are in order."
Yeah, we know, we rock.

Oh yeah, I made something totally awesome. See, Scott and I have conversations through our myspace statuses, so since I finally figured out how to take screen shots, I've started saving them. Here are some from yesterday and today. Its like my own little comic strip.

So I guess that's all. I should probably get to bed, I'm going to be completely useless tomorrow. Oh well. You guys are worth mind numbing exhaustion. Peace, loves.

xo
Helen

.5

So today..Lots of fun.

The wrestling match was just like I thought it would be. I sat with Jonathan, Emily, Destinie, Scott, and Veronica and made so many gay sex jokes that I don't even remember half of them. I took a picture of the match and about 200 of my friends and I, but I didn't realize until I got home that green is SO not my color, so those have been confiscated in the interest of public safety.

When I got home I totally pigged out on pizza -just a little practice for tomorrow. I have decided, though, that its ok, because the Thanksgiving scientists have devised an ingenious system: You stuff your face to the point of pure unadulterated gluttony on Thursday, and then on Friday you wake up at some ungodly hour with all of the other crazy people and go shopping. While shopping, you encounter many obstacles -severe lack of parking spaces, long lines, aggressive housewives determined to get Tickle Me Elmo- that force you to walk, jog, and run all over creation, hence burning all of the calories that you consumed on Thursday. In fact, you can even stop by Starbucks and pick up a drink with more whipped cream and chocolate in it than actual coffee without guilt. It is pure genius. I bet Oprah has something to do with it.

I suppose I should explain my 'Oprah is God' theory. It all started a few months ago when Mom and I were bored, as many great ideas do. I don't remember exactly how it came about, but here is the logic behind it.

Oprah makes things happen. She basically created now-celebrities Dr. Phil and Rachael Ray. She has gotten people green cards, new houses, makeovers, and new lives. This and some other little things -including the fact that the whole theory ticks off Dad- led to our realization that Oprah is God. So Ellen DeGeneres was absolutely right.

Now, this doesn't mean that I don't find Oprah obnoxious. I find all talk show hosts obnoxious on some level. They think that having an hour long time slot with their name on it purchased from a broadcasting network makes them hot stuff, but it really isn't the case. They're still people. They're just people with TV shows named after them and more money than the average American will ever see. But that doesn't make them hot stuff. Bill Gates is hot stuff. 'Nuff said.

And finally, be sure to go to http://amillionthanks.org/ to see how you can send words of encouragement to US troops stationed around the world via text messages. Most major service providers have agreed to make the messages free, so get to it!

And with that, I'm going to bed. I have a lot to eat tomorrow, and I'll need my strength. Good night and have a happy Thanksgiving.

xo
Helen

Hot 'n Ready

"Helen, the pizza box says 'hot 'n ready'"

And that is the beginning of my day. I firmly believe that today is going to be amazing, that is, if the past week is any indication. Honest to Oprah, (more on my 'Oprah is God' theory later) this past week has been amazing. Seriously, I haven't been so absolutely completely content with every part of my life since I was like five. But enough sap, let us get on with our hilarity.

Today is going to be awesome. Its only a half day of school before the Thanksgiving holiday, and I only have to go to Biology and Honors History, and then there is an in school wrestling match. Now, while usually the thought of any mandatory sporting event would make me want to claw my eyes out, this one will probably be interesting. Not only will I get to hang out with Jonathan, the idea of sitting next to my crazy pervert friend Scott while two guys in tight shorts jump on each other is bound to be entertaining.

Got to leave for school now..I'll be back around one with a recap of my day. I'll try to take pictures. There will also be tons of updates including pictures and family/friend bios so everyone knows who I'm ranting about and what names to put on the restraining orders. =p

xo
Helen